The balm of Gilead

My long journey started twelve years ago. I was a very active woman, well surrounded by family, and friends. Every time I walked in the streets of my neighborhood, my neighbors would stop me to say hi and have a quick talk. Sometimes, they invited me for a quick tea and a good piece of  raisin cake. 

You do not need to know my name, I think it is not important. However, I am keen on telling you my story.

On the sabbath, I go to the synagogue and listen to the Word of God. As I worship and pray, my heart awaits the Messiah with great anticipation.

As the weeks go by, I started to feel tired and weak. I started to have blood loss. I immediately went to a physician where he told me that I am suffering from hemorrhages and prescribed me medicines. Day after day, it only got worse. I decided to go to another physician, who was even more expensive and prescribed me even more medicines, but also this did not stop the bleeding. I felt like I was in a true nightmare. I have been imprisoned all of a sudden. I stopped going to the synagogue. People avoided me. My family abandoned me. No one wanted to take care of me. No one. I went from being weak to weaker. Loneliness, isolation, hopelessness and shame were accompanying me everywhere I went.

In the neighborhood and the streets, people would avoid me for my uncleanliness. My name was forgotten, and I got new ones instead: the unclean woman, the cursed woman,  the woman with the issue of blood …

I spent all my money, I had nothing left, I couldn’t try any other physician. I was desperate and felt there was no possible solution for my situation. Then suddenly, something reminded me of someone who has been doing miracles and healing the sick, opening the eyes of the blind, and even raising the dead. He will surely make me whole again. He is the One who has such a great power for miracles. His name is Jesus.

I must go see this ‘Jesus’.

Despite my shame and the rejection I am facing, I will go where He is. 

I will not give up, despite this huge crowd I see that is pressing in on many sides, I won’t stop Him and tell Him my story, I know I am not worthy. All I will do, I will just touch the hem of His garment and I will be healed. 

Here He is! He is there! I can see Him from afar! … Jesus...

My heart is beating fast. I feel overwhelmed by all the emotions I have been going through. But I am at the same time full of faith. I know in the depth of the depth of my heart that if I only touch the hem of His garment, I will be healed.

I decided to go down on my knees and even crawl so no one would be able to see me. It is a long way to crawl until I reach Him, but I am full of determination. I want to be healed, today. I won't let this large crowd stand between me and Jesus. I won't let the obstacles surrounding me stop me from reaching Him and stop what I can take from Him. I will move and advance in deep faith knowing I will get what I need. I will push through the crowd.

Even if I cannot touch anyone because of my uncleanliness, I will dare to touch Jesus!

Only one touch, and I will be healed. 

People are stepping on me, pushing me, but I am getting closer to Him. I finally was able to touch the tassel of His garment. Immediately, power went through my whole body and reached where no medicine or cure had been effective. Straightaway, the blood dried up. I felt life going through my body, I felt a powerful resurrection in every dead part in me.

And suddenly, Jesus stops. He looks around Him while people are still touching Him and say: who touched me?

I feel scared. I said to myself: did I just steal something from Him? Will He take back my healing? 

But a boldness from within, rose me up from the ground and I stood up declaring: I did ! It is me who touched you. 

Before this large crowd who knew all about me, He makes my testimony known. He takes away my shame and my brokenness. 

Before this large crowd, He calls me: BELOVED DAUGHTER !

He gives me a name. He makes me belong to Him. He gives me an identity!

He calls me out to bless me more! He gives me beyond what I need. He restores my soul and binds up all my wounds.

I am now made well, whole, restored, valued, and cleansed.

I received my healing freely without even one shekel. Jesus is truly the balm of Gilead who can heal every sickness and every disease.

I am sure He is the Messiah. I have received eternal life through Him and I have been made whole. I have a true freedom and experience a complete healing. He is my savior. I belong to Him.

An immediate transformation in my body and my soul, that I knew right away I was healed because of Jesus. He is the great physician, full of mercy and compassion. He is the anointed One who through His balm, I was made all new.

- His beloved daughter.

Reconciliation and times of refreshing

 

Therefore repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord. Acts 3:19

These words  have been on my mind for some time: reconciliation and times of refreshing. 

In the scriptures, times of refreshing are connected with turning  back from your sin, the major and main reason Jesus died on the cross for our sins to be reconciled with God. This decision of changing your way of thinking to live in true freedom and experience peace, is where you will experience the presence of God. 

Reconciliation is the way for restoration, where there is room for the healing hands of God to work and make all things new.

Repent - Open your heart and give room to the Holy Spirit to convict you. 

Now is the time for refreshing!

Refreshment through repentance. Inner healing through true conversion.

Maybe you are drained or you have been through lots of pain, hurt, weakness, sickness, bitterness, loss…maybe you still have open wounds and you did not experience healing or recovery. But in all these circumstances, in every situation, for how weak you are, give thanks to the Lord because it is in your weakness that you will find the strength of God. He wants to replace all those struggles and pain with Himself. This loss, this emptiness, the Lord wants to fill it with His fullness. Let these wounds be handled by Yhwh The Healer.

Oh God, you are so good. Your goodness and faithfulness surpasses any understanding. You love me and purchased me with your precious blood so I can stand in all boldness in your presence, unashamed, with no fear and be refreshed, you restore and heal my heart. You cover it with the kisses of your mouth. Oh this encounter with You, my Divine Lover, is the true communion I never want to let go. I can stand in your presence and feel your love flowing through my whole being.

Come O God, come with Your mighty power and presence where I feel secure to surrender completely to you, My Father and My God. 

Take my heart, wash it thoroughly with the precious blood of the Lamb. Forgive my sins, Father.

Bless me and let me be refreshed with your breath. Let your powerful wind of Your Spirit blow freshly upon me. Renew my strength and make me mount up with wings like eagles. Let your healing oil refresh my soul. Breathe God life into my heart. 

“Have mercy upon me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness; according to the multitude of Your tender mercies, blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin” (Psalm 51:1-2).

Thank you Father that you cover but also purge, blot out, cleanse, wash, pardon and forgive my sins. You forget them and cast them out into the depths of the sea.

El-Shaddai

 Yhwh appeared to Abram, and said to him : "I am El-Shaddai; walk before me and be whole." ~paraphrased~ Genesis 17:1

Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God. 2 Corinthians 3:5

I will rely and trust in you El-Shaddai. My mind and thoughts will never be able to imagine what El Shaddai can do. My heart will always be indebted to all the true unconditional love El-Shaddai can give. 

My whole being will never be able to contain the wonders and miracles the Overpowerer, El Shaddai, can do.

Let Your name resonate in my whole being: El-Shaddai.

Oh El-Shaddai, you speak powerfully to my heart. You make it all whole all over again, you give me a heart of flesh that is undefiled, complete and sound. 

Your blood cleanses it and it becomes all new, without spot, perfect and full of You, My all-sufficient One.

When I feel alone, I will trust in You, El-Shaddai for filling me with Your tangible presence and surrounding me with Your glory. 

In my loneliness, I come to You, El-Shaddai - come meet me in my desperation. Have Your way and break through my anxieties and fears. God of my salvation, give me freedom.

When I feel rejected, El-Shaddai’s healing embrace covers me with acceptance. 

When I feel unloved, El-Shaddai’s love enfolds me. You give me a sound heart. The very heartbeat of El-Shaddai breath life and love in me. My very next breath depends on you.

Oh God, be my El-Shaddai. Nourish me with Your love. 

Strengthen my inner being by the promises of your Word so that I may live faithful and blameless. 

Sustain me, Father.

Oh El-Shaddai, I stand in your presence, in need of nothing, because You are here in all Your fullness, My ALL in ALL. 

You are more than enough for me. You are all what my body, mind and soul need. You are El-Shaddai.

There is nothing too hard for You. With You, nothing is impossible.

With you, I feel complete. You make me perfect in Your presence. 

O my soul, let God be your El-Shaddai.

O my soul, wait silently for sounds of victory

My Yhwh, you are my champion. The One who lifts me higher than all my troubles and my weaknesses. You take me hand in hand, on your mountain and show me how tiny they are that I shouldn't fear them. You show me how the enemy wants to paralyze me. You are my champion my Lord. You open my ears and I hear your majestic and powerful voice saying I AM in the face of darkness. Your voice paralyzes the enemy and stops his plans.

I am on this high mountain with you My Father and I am not scared of the hight, I am held strongly and tightly by your powerful yet tender and loving arms.

You are not only my defender but you are my defense.
Your presence wraps me and covers me. You hide me in Your presence and warm me with your wings.
Oh my rock, I stand firmly and unshakable, waiting in silence and expecting my victory.

You meet me on the inside. You grab my heart into yours. Your fiery love melts away all hurt, heal all wounds, and gives life to the dead inner parts. You call my name in a loud voice and breath life into my whole being, my author of life. You resuscitate every dead desire and revive every given dream. You clear the road before me and we run together. Come with your Holy fire and ignite my passion to you deeper and deeper. Increase it like never before. Increase it that I cannot contain it. Let it run into my veins, let this flame always be connected to your eyes like the flame of fire. Reignite the fire my only good part, my portion forever.

You are my sure foundation and my safe place. You are my stability and Rock.

Oh how I feel secure in your arms. This comfort that I feel when I lean on you, my Father and my glory, nothing can take it away from me.

At all times, I will continue to run to you to pour out my heart with all that it carries, for you alone can cleanse it, you alone can heal it, you alone can give me freedom, you alone, you my King and my God.
At all times, I will trust you my adonai. For you alone, are rich in mercy.

O my soul, wait silently and hear the voice of the great I AM bringing glory, victories, lovingkindness, faithfulness.

Do not be moved, O my soul, wait silently for sounds of victory.